we're just a friend right now

yeaah, he told me he miss me and love me. but three days ago exactly sunday. he explained why didnt he chat and webcam w me.. here it is.. his company didnt allow to marry with another country, except omani. so he didnt know how to tell me, he was so sad. so, last sunday he told me everything about he did ask permission to his company, about how much he loves me but he can't harm his love, about he doesnt like ara* girls at all, and about bla bla blaa, and so on...

i told him, yeah if the best way for us like this, its ok, i accepted. and i asked, why did you love me? because he loves someone who has a soft heart, and that words make me wanna cry. you kno the nite of sunday i was crying, even the rainy let my tears down at the moment...

finally we decided being just a friend only. but hellooooo, if the sun still rises from east to west, the bird still loud out his tweet, and the earth still rotating, so i can find someone who can be my soulmate or he can find me someday.. aamiin..

=))

no news, no words

waiting him along day since i arrived home.. no news, no words. my heart filled hurt by his manner. i dont kno how to say this, but its make me so dizzy, confused, worried about him. i'm scared if there was anything bad happens to him.. i swear, it makes my day so grey. thank you, you were there, hurted me. im angry now.

mmhh, lil bit sad

i was chat with him from afternoon till late night. he said he missed me till tom. i thought the word of  'tom' means tom yam. so i said to him, wt tom? i just kno tom is a food which called tom yam, yea something like that i told him. he laugh. he said tom is tomorrow. then i was laughing like this, hahahaaaa.
and guess wt?
i didnt see his face, the webcam didn't work there. i was sad. really. but i loved him when his webcam didnt work in the office, he said like this. i was gotta go to the city. maybe need 20-30 minutes to go there. how sweet he is.. he didn't wanna make me sad that time. but still i was sad, bcz it still didnt work! but his sacrifice touched my heart...
he said he miss me once again, and i said yuph, miss u too.
=))

whats exactly this feeling???

suddenly i wake up this early morning and take wudhu, salaah tahajud then.. Subhanallah...
something different totally change my feeling.. i dnt knw, its difficult to say, but i like it.
=))

beacuse of him, i thought. ha ha ha. we were chatting last night. and ya knw what? im onlly sleep during 4 hours, at bout. we talked much last night. he taught me some of arabic language, like kif alhul? its mean how are you? then tamam is ok, bakiar is fine, and so on. til he said anti jamela. i asked him what was it mean? i just know anti is you. and he said good you knew that, jamela is beauty. and i joke him, antum jamela. hahaha, we're laugh together. =p
i wanted to see him first on webcam, but he was in the office, there's no webcam, so the reverse is he want to see me on it. im lil bit confused. but it doesnt matter.. he told me that he will show his face on webcame today. =))
after i were showing my face, he said that "you really jamila, really", my cheek was suddenly blushing. im shy ya know. =))

and guess what, he told me that he was kinda look like a moon face. aaaahhh, so sweet... make me blushing two times. hahaha.

in the last we're chatting, he asked me to give him my email. i gave him. and i asked him why?. he said he wanted to attachment some photos, his house and plant. please you checked em, he said to me.
then i accepted his recommendation. after i saw those pictures,  i had no idea what's it means?. so im sleep. ha ha. i wake up then, and i still dont know what's his mean to send me those pict. mmmmmh, yayayaaa, just forget it. then i'll see his face today. Insya Allah. =))

now i cant sleep anymore, huhuhu, is there anyone wanna help me to sing a lullaby song? =p

story about my dad

dad.. he's the best father i've ever had.. he's so mature, wise, charismatic, loving and caring his family, including me of crs..
=p

he told me about his story when he was child til he was work as an employee in a bank aloooong the way during in a car to take me to campus this morning. he's so nice, really nice nice nice dad. i love him so much ! as i love my mother and my two older brothers like.

he's a workhorse, from he was young till this day when he's an old man. his youth filled with the days of heavy, tough times. but Alhamdulillah he's in his.. what do ya call it? heyday, maybe, like that i think. =))

keep in spirit daaadd..! love you like the way you do for me.. always

=))

now i know !!!

what i have to do is..... make a plan to get the scholarship and wish my wish come true.. soon.. aamiin
must learn physics more more and more on english words. change my mind more open minded, accept all the weakness and not just take em to my poket but make em your goal, get being smart! dont ever bothered by em, NEVER ! but prove your dreams and make em REAL !!!
now i'm not a kid anymore, i'm twenty years old. i must to think about my future, not just my dreams, but those are gonna be REAL! i wanna pursue to EUROPE then, Insya Allah, aamiin...
 i want your sincere pray for me, =))

Subhanallah, moslem nobel laureate . . .

currently i'll tell you a story about someone who win the nobel. He is physicist, muslim. He was born on january 29, 1927, in jhang, Lahore, Pakistan. you know who? yeeph..! he is Mohammad Abdus Salam.. ! i've just searched on google, lol
I'm interested with his effort to advance science world, especially physics. with his perfect score, it means summa cumlaude, and it means his average score is 4, in university of cambridge, Subhanallah.. i'm amazed.!
he and two his friends, Steven Weinberg and Sheldon Glashow won the nobel which is tittled electroweak theory where they were unifying electromagnetik and weak forces. He said it was just because sentence of tauhid, laa ilaaha illallaahu (there is no god but Allah swt). Subhanallah.. once again i just can say that.. Insya Allah, more and more who can being a scientist processor, aamiin.